How can I fix you if I can't even fix myself?
Stop asking me to make your life better. I can't.
Do it yourself, already.

Or at least get up off your fat rear and just pull yourself together enough to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOURSELF ALREADY!!!

Secrets

This darkness is too bright.

The passing seared my startled vision.

Unexpected.

Your soul shadowed -

My eyes open in darkness.

Windows to the soul. Scarred.

Burned by the image, haunting every closing.

You are on the other side -

Shrouded no more.

In that moment I realized

We'd plunged with you to darkness.

The light that followed, different yet the same.

And you -

You are in the Light I can't see.

It was beauty. Eclipse.

Raw. Harsh. Untamed.

Dangerous.
Were you unafraid?

I cried.

I thought when they covered you with dirt

It was over.

But
splendour breaks forth.

Let there be light.
Let there be morning.

Printed text

And in one swiftly passing, half-noticed moment, we fell. Slipping from "I" to "us." I could see it clearly delineated, as if on a textbook page. Panicked, I meet his eyes.
"And are we an us?" It is uttered softly, in italics.

Coffee Grounds . . .

I thought I saw you today. A glimpse of a head and my heart jumped. But it was only half a jump . . . I am getting - somewhere. I don't know what that's worth, but it's what I've got.
Maybe someday you will walk past in person and my heart won't skip a beat.

It won't be soon. Sigh.

Neo-ornamentation

I redecorated today. My kitchen at least.
It wasn't even that hard. It didn't take the six days of labor like the new ceiling in my bathroom. I didn't repaint even. I did move around some of my magnetic words, but mostly to make room for the redecoration.

There is a job schedule on my fridge.

A job schedule for not just this week, but next. Potential for the next four years, at least.

It's funny how those two pieces of 8 by 10 paper can rearrange the light particles in my whole home. Everything shines brighter, sounds more softly, moves more calmly. I feel like part of the lump in my stomach has dissolved.

I can support myself. I can do this. I can be independent.

And I touch the papers again. They're real.